The Cliff Side

Standing alone at the edge of a cliff no one is waiting around to see whether you will jump or just standing there admiring the view. The feeling of being truly alone. 

There are times that there would be nothing better then to jump of that cliff to get away from it all. but yet you don't and you can't. There are too many people out there depending on you. A friend in need of a hand to hold onto while slipping off the edge, a sister that is standing on her own cliff top. A mother thats fighting demons in an empty battle field, without any other comrades to help her. I want to be there for everyone but it's impossible. When trying to help one person cling to the side of the mountain, the other slips and falls. There's always a casualty no matter what you do. Instead of bearing that weight of knot being there for them, helping them regain their balance, sometimes it would just be easier to finally take that jump. I would hope for a soft landing and maybe, just maybe there would be someone waiting to catch me! It would be a nice change to finally be able to lean on someone else instead of always being the pillar others can push against to get a better grip and put they're safety rods in. After a time that pillar will fracture, become unstable, yet those who have been using it for years will try to use that pillar one last time and it will shatter under the weight. They won't realize what has happened to it, but it can only be pushed so far, only take so much weight before it crumbles and becomes nothing but a memory in the ruins.

Is there anyone out there that would be my support? My pillar? The helping hand on the cliff side? A boat to come save me from this island that I find myself on? I hope there is because I am in need of one.

Who I Am

I am not the prettiest girl out there,

I am not skinny,

I am not the smartest person either.

I am shy, self conscience, 

at times have low self esteem.

I don't wear a lot of makeup, 

or wear clothes that show my belly, lower back or cleavage.

I wear appropriate clothes for the weather conditions, 

like a winter coat and boots in the winter instead of the cute tank top combo 

with high heels.

I am a bit of a nerd, liking video games, anime, and even the odd comic book.

I love math and science, and even indulge in these subjects for fun after graduating school.

My passion is reading and writing, and geeking out to Batman, and Super Mario Bros. 

I love the outdoors, talking walks, hiking, snowboards, camping and quadding.

I have patience in abundance one on one with someone, until it comes to driving then I have next to none. 

I am deeply loyal to my friends and family, and willing to help the stranger on the road to push his car out of the snow.

I trust people easily but break that trust and I will say goodbye forever. 

I am independent to a fault, and won't ask for help, but when offered help I will never turn it down.

I will not put up with lies or drama.

If you cannot accept all there is to me, then I don't need your friendship or your physical self in my life. I have made it this far without you so I can live on without you. 

Goodbye to the false friends and the boyfriends who have used me. 

Hello to all those who accept me…. 

New Year's Resolution

Hobey Ho* and a Happy 2014 to all you Cyber Readers! 

Tis the season for the infamous 'New Year's Resolution'. With the new year upon us, people since the ancient Romans, have made pledges to themselves and others to become better people, pay off debts, get in shape, get in touch with that person from high school or college. I admit that I have made all these resolutions myself over the past 10 years. One thing that we all have in common though, is that hardly any body ever actually achieves these goals. Come on admit it to your self, since you've started making 'resolutions' you commit to it fervently for the first couple days (especially if it involves with the gym or working out), a couple weeks (something small like not going out to eat or get a coffee everyday), or a month or two tops (trying to keep your house clean, cooking, or trying to read more often). But sooner or later we all quite and succumb to who we really are and revert back to our old habits. 

This year one of my resolutions is to write everyday. And what better way to do this then with my blog. Since I was a little girl, I've always liked reading and writing. I wrote my first story on the computer when I was six, I will admit that I kind of plagiarized the classic Jack and the beanstalk, spinning it with my own characters and the giant was actually nice! He cooked an excellent meal for us trespassers and we even became friends, but yes we did climb up a magic beanstalk into the sky. Don't judge me, I was only six! No more plagiarizing for me, after I found out what that word actually meant. 

This is the year I will get back into writing and hopefully maybe one of my ideas will become the next New York Times Bestseller! Here's to hoping anyways. Wish me luck! 

P.S. - I know that it's already the middle of January before I made this resolution when tradition states that I should have already made this plan and executed it at the beginning of January but see to an earlier post I made about procrastination. 

*'Hobey Ho' comes from a book series called Pendragon by DJ MacHale. Brilliant young adult series. I like the saying, just another form of salutations that I love to say but always get strange looks since nobody understands the small two word phrase, and then I start explaining the saying and then becomes pointless in saying it in the first place. Anyways rant and explanation done, for now anyways.

Cheers, Fallbur